"But, Which Group Can I Join?"

I want to join a home group (small church group) in my new church. But as usual, I'm being set up. This is what I call "new person set up." In other words, a set up for rejection. The list in the church bulletin gives the following information:

--the town in which the homegroup meets
--the day and time it meets
--the phone number and name of the leader to call.

It looks good so far doesn't it? So what's missing? Two items that the bulletin doesn't tell are setting up the new person for the "new person set up." First, I found out that some of the groups have certain age groups. So, if someone calls to say they wish to come to the group, is the leader going to ask their age? And then, if the person is too young/old, is the leader going to say, "Oh sorry, this group isn't for you?" Why are American churches doing this type of age segregation? I've already discussed in this blog that I feel the main reason for the emergent apostasy is this segregation of young adults from older ones where the older ones don't have a clue that so many of their younger evangelical counterparts are into what amounts to liberal Protestant apostasy and are bringing into the churches. The last thing our churches need is this continued age segregation, including among adults.

The second thing I found out today is that some churches have "closed" periods wehere new people cannot join. Again, this wasn't in the bulletin. So if a new person calls and the group is closed, I guess the new person would be told, "Sorry you cannot join right now. Our group is closed." I just do not udnderstand why churches don't get how rejecting this type of behavior is. This is why I call this the "new person setup." And almost all churches do it.


Poor communication is the main problem.
The new person/visitor just does not have enough information to act upon, So, many just don't get involved. They sit in the pew for months without joining anything. Or, some just leave. But why would churches do this type of thing. I think there are two reasons why this can happen. One is intentional and the other is unintentional. Many churches just unintentionally put information in their bulletins without really thinking through what type of informtation new people to the church need in order to act. The leaders are essentially thinking of church members when they write the information. It's always interesting to me how churches bend over backwards to welcome new people and then sabotage any efforts for them to really become part of their churches. And this brings us to the intentional rejection of new people. Churches can get cliquy and do not wish "others" to be in their group. This also spills over to ages. While they might welcome new people in their age group, they DO NOT welcome new ones outside their age group. But this is sinking the church at large. The interesting part to me in all of this is churches are finally breaking down the wall between segregating singles from marrieds. One reason for this is probably because the younger singles won't play the "church singles game" anymore. But then how did we get into these tight little age groups?

The present Church Growth movement was started by Donald McGraven, an ex-missionary to India. The sad thing is McGraven never meant for the church to become what it has. And he certainly would not have wished churches to water down the gospel or push it out all together. The following quote is from James Gimpel, professor of political science at the University of Maryland,

I find very little evidence that churches are really transforming their congregations. It's rather quite the reverse. Ministers depend on pleasing a particular congregation for their longevity. The last thing they want is to offend those people or to try to transform their viewpoint....it's conformity all the way.*

As I've discussed here before, it's the numbers and the money. That is the engine that is running too many of our evangelical churches today. And sadly, also Christian publishing houses, Christian colleges and seminaries and denominations. That is why so many denominational and para-church organization leaders are "selling" us out. Churches must begin to be inclusive, not only racially and ex-sin-wise (accepting all repentant sinners no matter what they used to do), but also age-wise. There must not be a church for old, a church for young, a church for Baby Boomers. I don't even believe anymore that there should be a service for the young and one for the old. My old church proved that you can have ONE wonderful and effective church service being very inclusive of all ages. But pastors are going to have to stop being "girlie-men" and get courageous. They will need to explain why we are doing what we are doing. I'm not suggesting churches just one day tell members, "This is what we are going to do. Period." Members deserve explanations, and hopefully, Biblical ones. I don't wish Dictators. I want Explainers. Let's do away with this age segregation, shall we?




*From The Big Sort by Bill Bishop, p. 180