Proverbs 31:10-31-Part 3

20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Unlike many codependent women, this lady thinks ahead to what she needs to do and to whom she needs to do it with. She doesn't wait for her husband to "dictate" her day, rather she organizes her day herself, although I wonder if she at least goes over it with him. My parents used to do that. In the morning they would go over their day with each other. My mother didn't do that because she was supposed to "submit" to my father, but rather to inform him. And he did the same for her. There was a mutual respect between them. They encouraged one another and also offered correction where needed. I suppose if they didn't see eye to eye my mother would follow my father's lead. But the problem in my family was that my mother was always 99% right (and she was), and my father was at least 50% wrong. But my mother would still try to submit, although I hae to admit, not too graciously at times. My parents were not evangelical Christians. They were liberal Protestants and I still don't know if they were born-again. But they were good people. But them most liberal Protestants are. This brings us to another interesting point on submission that I rarely hear discussed (except in the old days of the
1970's with Bill Gothard). If the husband is wrong, then what? The Gothardized pat answer is always "The Lord will take care of it." Well, not always. Fortunately in my family's case, my mother had the sense to submit when it wasn't important, like, "Do we turn right or left?" But on financial decisions which my mother was an expert in, it could be disastrous. Fortunately my good-hearted father (and he was--he was a prince--just a wrong one at times) would defer to her because he learned from long experience to trust her judgment in fincances among other many things. And, my mother learned to trust my father in his strong points. So I guess that they were submitted to each other. This submission thing can really get consusing can't it? I think the point I am trying to make here is two-fold. First, submission cannot come from a codependent fearful woman, and second, submission relies on trust and love, not a "have-to" mentality.