Dependency-Separation-Dependency

I watched an interview with Jay M. Bernstein, professor of philosophy at the New School of Research. He was talking about his thinking about dependency. As I listened to him it triggered something I've kind of known subconsciously but until now, really hadn't put together. Listening to your pastor talk about the church and the church family, it's evident that we need a level of dependency on one another. While I've realized this during my Christian life, what troubled me was the unhealthy dependency I saw, especially in Christian women. But if we are to be dependent on one another, when is that unhealthy and what is the solution? There has to be a second phase, a separation from who or what you are dependent on. OK, I knew that too. But then, how do we get back to healthy dependency? Or is there a healthy dependency? Professor Bernstein supplied the answer for me. Yes, there is a healthy dependency, but we cannot get there until we go through the separation phase. And that is what is wrong in so many churches. Unhealthy dependency is mistaken for healthy because separation hasn't taken place. In other churches, that understand this and talk about it, though, that is where it stops. In other words, the person stays separated and doesn't get to the last stage of another type of dependency--a healthy one.